Q: How do I disagree without being a jerk?
A: Use these three rules.
I ran across an instagram video the other day of a guy sharing some marriage advice, and I thought it was great. But truly, it applies to every kind of relationship where disagreements arise; which is to say more simply, every kind of relationship.
His three rules are essentially this:
- Remember the person you’re arguing with is someone you love and care about deeply. This will help you speak to them with kindness and respect.
- Facts matter. That’s not to say that emotions and feelings don’t. But any decision worth arguing over needs to recognize facts. However, how you communicate facts is important–see rule number 1.
- We’re not in competition with each other. Our argument is proof that we both want the best possible outcome. We are on the same team.
Arguments don’t have to be bad if you fight fair and remember to use some wise rules.
Actionable Question: Am I disagreeing to find the best solution or am I picking a fight to be mean?